I do not have much idea about this type of topic. Therefore I decide to talk about something about myself. Precisely, my recent quarantine life in the United States since I moved to this new apartment and living alone.

Cause of my previous untrustworthy roommate who cheated me about the date of the lease they have, I had to move again only after three months living in the UC cause the lease ends at the end of September, while I just moved in in May. Moreover, both of them decide to move out and not willing to keep living there. I hate moving around because I first do not have a car, such that I have to rent one from the U-hall, which is expensive. Moreover, I also hate to carry furniture around; they are cumbersome, especially when there is no lift available. I have to bother my friend to help me during this pandemic period.

Another thing that makes hate moving around is that we are currently under the pandemic, and there is basically no new student coming from aboard that I can share an apartment with, so I have to find an apartment to live alone and pay the rent alone. When I live in the University Towers, I pay around 380 dollars per month for the rental fee, no electricity or gas charges. When I live in the University Club, I pay around 400 dollars for the rental with around 30 for the gas and electricity plus 18 for the internet, which I can still afford easily. Nevertheless, if I live alone, I have to pay approximately 700 dollars for the rental fee, not to mention the electricity. All summed up, I have to pay around 1000 dollars per month now, the eating staff is not yet added.

Just think about it, now I have to pay 2-3 times more monthly while I do not really have more salary. Well, life starts to show its real color now.

However, the biggest issue is not just coming from my living environment. It is from the country where I come from, from the people that I care about.

My family runs a farm to feed pigs, but now because of the Africa Pig Flu, all of the pigs on the farm were dead within a few days. They have no more pigs to look after, even though the pig’s price is historically high. This makes them really depressed cause they have been feeding pigs since they were my age, but now, they got nothing left behind suddenly. This means that my family went bankrupt, and my parents lost their jobs at the age that is hard for them to find another one and restart again.

My own problem comes from my girlfriend, or more accurately, my ex-girlfriend. My girlfriend decided to break up with me after four years of relationship cause I could not stay around with her for the last two years. I am not sad about it cause I had foreseen this moment at the very beginning when I decided to pursue my Ph.D. Dream. I know that I have to stay in the US for around five years, and it will be tough for us to maintain this relationship. She tried, she cried, she called me many times, I also tried, tried my best, tried all ways that I could, but we all failed.

I do not blame anyone; I do not believe that it is my fault, nor hers, its just life. She has the right to decide which way to go for her life, and I also have the right to choose mine. Furthermore, now, we are just not on the same path anymore. Thus, we break up.

It feels bizarre because it was the first time in the past few years being single again without thinking about my girlfriend’s emotion, without worrying about missing her call or message; without caring about her feelings. Now I own all my time. I can do all the things that I want without fearing that someone might suddenly cut in.

Let it be now. I have to rethink my dream now. Think about what kind of life I want to live in the future. Furthermore, think about how to live my life, how to manage my time, how to read, how to study, and how to rest.

I have to pick up the bullet journal again and plan my day, week, and month. Life begins again.